The days of running onto the playground, jumping on the red-rusty-in-spots-out-of-balance merry-go-round and running, running, running and then JUMPing on holding on for dear life while the world spins around you - over and over, running & hopping on... and if you're fortunate, another kid shows up & you take turns riding while the other runs and jumps on... or you BOTH run and BOTH jump and can barely catch your breath & you strain/sprain your shoulder because it's spinning faster than you can run and yet you grab on hoping to jump this one. last. time. and it jerks you and you laugh and survive and do it all over again another time, and another day and WEEEEEEEE!!!
Dang, makes me tired. I need a breather...
No matter how much it appears the world is spinning...
whether slowly or fast...
it's not that the world's spinning...
it's the "merry-go-round" - it's the wheel is spinning -
it's ME - I'm what's spinning.
And I've been ready to . . .
throw up. (a time or two)
Puke, as my 17 year old likes to call it.
Puke.
Spewing things like:
1) HELP! My old people forget life and I'm trying to help them keep their heads afloat.
or
2) HELP! My baby son is now a SENIOR and he is going to be "gone" "TOMORROW" and I'm so busy I'm missing much of it!
or
3) HELP! The Chicago Breast Cancer 3-Day (Aug 7- 9) is in 21, no 20, no 19 days and I've trained only 1/10th of what I should because of this WHEEL...
or
4) HELP! The Chicago Breast Breast Cancer 3-Day is in 21, no 20, no 19 days and I'm still short of my fund raising goal...
or
5) HELP! My house is falling apart around me and I'm too exhausted to do much to prevent it, and I'm too strapped for cash to hire it done and, and, and...
or
6) HELP! My family is in a state of TRANSITION, and REBUILDING and REGROUPING and are growing through painful days and or nights and I'm caught in an emotional tug-o-war
or
7) Help.
Although I"m not really in a state of panic.
And I'm not really in a flurry today.
I'm also not rising above the circumstances like I would like to be... you know SOARING above...
... more like ... trudging through.
Like when you dream that you're being chased by somebody you can't see, don't know who they are, but you know you're being chased and you run, and it feels like your legs won't budge off the ground & when they do you swear they're ELEPHANT's legs walking in MUD or QUICKSAND that barely lift high enough to step forward...
...yeah, kinda like that.
.
.
... and the dogs bark and snap be back to reality. responsibility, really.
They can't let themselves out. They have needs that must be met and I'm just the girl, the master to meet those needs.
And my parents have 6 acres that need mowing and taxes to finish.
And my auntie has Rx to pick up and groceries to purchase.
And my house needs a quicky tidy-up so as not to gag me when I return.
And I am just the girl to do it.
And I'm trusting the FUNDS will come for the 3-Day.
And I'm limited to train, so I will focus on a healthy body.(that is, after all, what freedom from breast cancer - or all cancers- is, isn't it?)
And the MERRY-go-round is appropriately called just that...MERRY...
...because, regardless the circumstances I spin in
... I am convinced...
...and I am determined...
...to TRUST in the One who sees me spinning...
...who is WITH ME in the midst of the spinning...
...and who is providing me the Peace (supernatural), and Comfort, and JOY right in the midst of the MUD...
...and I KNOW, TOGETHER we will...
...make
...it
...one
...more
...day
...and
...one
...more
...day
Because, simply, HE is sufficient.
Psalm 13: 1 -6
(particularly 5,6
5 But I trust in your unfailing love;
my heart rejoices in your salvation.
6 I will sing to the LORD,
for he has been good to me.)
"I TRUST"
A WILLFUL choosing. A WILLFUL commitment to CHOOSE something bigger than the circumstances.
I trust.
I trust.
I trust.
Recent Comments